, author: Ermakova M.

The psychologist explained the reasons for choosing the "wrong" partners

Choosing a life partner, a person can unconsciously focus on the image of someone who previously rejected his feelings.

Love is an irrational phenomenon, so the actions of a person in love often defy logic. And the shortcomings of the second half in the light of an all-consuming feeling become obvious far from immediately. Family psychologist Olga Romaniv explained why this happens.

According to her, "the wrong" partners are often chosen by people with psychological trauma - the children of indifferent parents. They are subconsciously looking for a person who, just like mom or dad once, is cold towards them. Such relationships turn into a one-sided game - the lover tries to melt the partner's heart, because from childhood he carries the conviction that "deserving" love is normal.

Also, a person in love lacks critical thinking. For this reason, it can be difficult to see the shortcomings of the one to whom the feeling is directed.

“Under the influence of the “hormone of love” phenylethylamine, a restructuring of chemical processes begins in the brain ... They can no longer perceive the object of their passion as it is, attributing non-existent features to it and not noticing obvious shortcomings, ”says the psychologist, adding that during this period, nerve impulses are blocked in the brain. And after a few years, the passion subsides, the ability to think soberly returns and the negative traits of the person next to you "crawl out" to the outside.

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