, author: Ermakova M.

Only peace! how to stop worrying about little things

Small troubles often throw us off balance. Psychologists will tell you how to control yourself and not give in to despondency or panic.

After missing the bus, forgetting to reply to a message, or accidentally staining your favorite shirt, many begin to feel visibly worried. The reasons for worry may be different, but, as a rule, they do not entail serious consequences, and those who have experienced such troubles still worry and feel depressed. Of course, this affects mood, productivity, and physical well-being.

How can you protect yourself from worrying about trifles and help yourself understand that annoying everyday troubles are not something worth panicking about? Experts will tell you.

Night insomnia

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Psychologist Tatyana Poshatalova advises:

- Overestimate the importance. Think about it, is this situation really so important in your life?

- Switch your attention. When you start to worry about little things, try shifting your focus to something more meaningful and enjoyable. Do your hobby, read a book, watch your favorite movie, or spend time with loved ones. This will help you take your mind off the problem.

- Share your emotions. Talk to your loved ones about what's bothering you. Sometimes talking to another person helps us see the situation differently and stop worrying. A conversation with a psychologist allows you to find the roots of the problem and resolve them.

- Practice meditation and breathing exercises. This helps calm the mind and relieve tension. The practices only take a few minutes, but you need to devote time to them every day.

- Remember the main thing. It is important not to forget your values and priorities. When we focus on what's important, the little things lose their power and significance. Think about what really matters to you and focus your energy on achieving those goals. This will help you cope with your fears.

Dialogue with yourself

Relax and stress on the black keyboard.

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The answers to all the questions that trouble us lie within ourselves. To find them, you just need to listen more carefully to yourself. Simple exercises help with this - doing them both calms you down and helps you realize your fears, desires and goals.

Business psychologist Anna Suslova offers several such exercises:

* Exercise "5 things". Every day when you feel yourself stressing over little things, stop and write down five things you are grateful for. It could be anything: your health, your family, friends, home, favorite activity, etc.

* Exercise "3 things". Every day before going to bed, remember three good things that happened to you during the day. This will help you focus on the positive and let go of negative emotions.

* Exercise "I-messages". Instead of blaming yourself and worrying about failures, tell yourself: “I-messages.” For example, instead of "I'm such a loser!" Say to yourself, “I’m upset that I couldn’t solve this problem.” This will help you accept what happened and not blame yourself.

The expert also explains how not to get involved in worries over minor issues: “Stay calm. When you feel yourself starting to worry, take a few deep breaths and relax. Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t rush to judge the situation until you understand it. "Compare yourself to others. Every person is unique, and everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you feel like you can't handle a situation on your own, see a psychologist."

It's not all bad

There is a more radical method to distract yourself from trivial worries. Psychologist Alexey Sapkin spoke about him:

“There is a very reliable remedy, which, however, none of us likes. And this remedy is larger problems. Various troubles and losses (of friends, loved ones, loved ones, freedom, health, work, property, etc.), and even the risk of this almost always forces us to re-evaluate life in terms of what is important in it and what is not. Is it possible not to wait for such turns in life? It is possible!

Even two thousand years ago, Stoic philosophers (and the ideas of Stoicism underlie modern cognitive behavioral psychotherapy) proposed the technique of negative visualization. They suggested treating everything we have (including relationships with other people) as something we have received on temporary lease, and should be prepared to lose (that is, “return”) at any moment. And regularly imagine how bitterly we part with everything that is dear to us. The point of this exercise is to appreciate our fragile little world more, with all its small problems, in the face of big problems and, ultimately, the inevitable loss of everything in the future. The Stoic maxim memento mori - remember death - is about exactly this.

Well, if negative visualization is too harsh for you, you can use another Stoic idea. They divided everything in life into what we can control and what we cannot control. The only thing we can control is our own actions (and, to a certain extent, thoughts, our attitude to events). We have no control over anything else - neither over the events of the world, nor over the thoughts and actions of other people. Accordingly, we should focus precisely on what we can change. The rest can only be accepted, not approving, not rejecting, but simply recognizing.”

Whatever you choose as a way of living through negative events, do not forget that every new day certainly brings joys - small or significant.