Hear yourself: why you can’t suppress emotions

Restraining emotions, especially if it is constant, has a negative impact on the individual and can even cause a number of diseases. Experts will tell you more about this:

“Imagine a vessel with a constantly boiling mixture, into which you constantly add more and boil. When it overflows and overheats, it will explode. The same thing happens with the human psyche. When a person experiences emotions, they burst out, regardless of whether they are positive or negative. The so-called "explosion" will occur inside the body - this is called psychosomatics. The psychosomatic problem is one of the most complex in science. Not every emotion is pathogenic. Chronic, unreacted, suppressed, repetitive is pathogenic. Fear, aggression, guilt, frustrated desires, if they are repressed, lead to chronic emotional stress, which disrupts the normal functioning of the autonomic organs,” warns human psychology researcher, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, Russian forensic expert Tatyana Kor.

Indeed, regular suppression of emotions leads to the fact that accumulated irritation, fatigue, pain - one day burst out in an uncontrollable stream. It's better not to allow this to happen.

The dangerous word "no"

“Exhibiting authentic reactions is often condemned and prohibited. “Don’t laugh so loud. Boys don’t cry. Don’t be sad,” is heard from all sides. There is only one thing left to do - hide your natural reactions. If an emotion is prohibited, a person uses non-forbidden reactions. (You can’t cry when it hurts—they’ll get angry.)

Such emotions are called racketeering; they protect a person from the condemnation of others, but they prevent him from correctly assessing the situation and are the cause of life mistakes. What happens when emotions are suppressed or racket feelings are used? For our brain, the situation is perceived as unlived, and a person is forced to return to it again and again in his thoughts.

Suppressing both negative and positive emotions is equally dangerous for the body. Unlived feelings provoke the production of stress hormones. Stress depletes the body physically and emotionally and can lead to the development of psychosomatic diseases. To live in harmony with yourself, you don’t have to deal with your emotions at all. Emotions should rage in our lives - this is the key to our happiness and well-being,” explains consulting psychologist Victoria Smirnova.

Learning to hear ourselves

If you don’t show the emotions that torment you once, nothing bad will happen. However, systematic self-restraint, according to psychologist Irina Potapova, manifests itself in the form of a noticeable malaise:

“On a physical level, suppressing emotions has a negative impact. Uncontrolled and inhibited emotionality can lead to increased levels of stress, which in turn can cause health problems such as headaches, digestive problems and cardiovascular disease.

Suppressed emotions can also negatively affect the quality of relationships with other people. When we don't express our emotions, we create barriers and obstruction in communication. Other people may not see or understand our real feelings and needs, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts,” the expert noted.

Candidate of psychological sciences, developer of the theory of adaptive intelligence Valery Gut adds several more diagnoses to the list of unpleasant consequences: “The “disease of unexpressed feelings” manifests itself <...> in the form of immune diseases, hormonal disorders, problems with the gastrointestinal tract and cardiovascular system, oncology, dependencies". He clarifies that in order to avoid these problems, emotional intelligence should be developed. “This is the ability to understand both one’s own and other people’s feelings and the needs that lie behind them. Harvard professor Daniel Goleman notes that people with developed emotional intelligence live lives in which they are comfortable with themselves, others and society. This helps keeping an “Emotion Diary” in which you need to record the experiences that arose during the day and the actions that helped you cope with them.”