No self-pity: when it's worth giving up toxic friends

Sometimes friends who we thought were reliable supports begin to behave in toxic and destructive ways towards us. In such cases, experts advise us not to be afraid to part with such "friends" without regret.

Psychologists note that a healthy person should have a certain mental flexibility. Throughout life our values, priorities and needs in communication can change due to various events - change of job, marriage, birth of children, etc. Not all close people are ready to change their values, priorities and needs in communication. Not everyone close to us is ready to support us in new circumstances, and this is their right.

It is often during such periods that we begin to see friends from unfamiliar sides. They may not accept our new life partners, our divorces, or our parenthood. Or a person changes himself, begins to move in a new direction - to study, go to a psychologist - and his friends are not ready to accept these transformations.

In such cases there is often a "change of the established system of contacts". Friends who are not ready for changes begin to accuse the person of having "changed", "become different" and ceased to be "the same". Such unconstructive, biased attacks are defined by experts as a manifestation of toxicity.

The psychologist emphasizes that in healthy friendships there should not be excessive criticism. Friends are those who should support us, not fulfill educational functions. If loved ones begin to constantly make remarks about our appearance, personal life, work, tastes - then they are no longer friends, but only burdensome critics.

With such "close" people psychologists recommend to part without any regrets. Friendship should not be burdensome or burdensome. Of course, there is an image of a friend who is ready "and in the fire and in the water," but it assumes absolute reciprocity. If a person is willing to tolerate a toxic attitude, perhaps they should work on improving their own self-esteem.

Ultimately, each person's environment should bring them harmony and support. One should not cling to friends who clearly violate this rule. Sometimes you need to be able to ruthlessly cut off toxic connections in order to preserve your psychological well-being.