One-Way Game: How to Understand That You're Being Used?

Any human relationship (romantic, business, friendly, family, etc.) implies equal interaction between two parties. But sometimes it happens that a relationship resembles a one-sided game - only one person invests time, emotions and other resources in it. How to understand that you are being used and break off a destructive relationship? Psychologist Natalia Gracheva explains.

She named the main signs that you are being used. They will make it easier to determine the degree of toxicity of the relationship:

One-sided relationships

If you notice that the relationship is built on your efforts and time, and you get nothing in return, then this is the first alarm bell. For example, if you are contacted only in case of need, you should think about the balance in the relationship.

Constant requests for help

Frequent requests for help, especially if they are accompanied by a feeling that you are obligated to do so, may indicate that you are being taken advantage of. If a person rarely asks about your problems, but constantly needs your support, this is a warning sign.

Lack of gratitude and recognition

When your efforts and help are taken for granted, and there is no gratitude or appreciation, this is also a sign of exploitation. People who genuinely appreciate your help will always find a way to express gratitude.

Manipulation and Pressure

Using manipulation, pressure, and guilt to get your consent or help is a clear sign of exploitation. If a person manipulates your emotions or threats to get their way, this is toxic behavior.

Ignoring your boundaries

If your personal boundaries are constantly violated, and your "no" is ignored or taken with hostility, this indicates that your resources and time are being neglected.

Unequal efforts

In a healthy relationship, both parties contribute. If your efforts and contribution significantly exceed the efforts of the other party, this indicates inequality and use.

The expert called the first step to solving the problem awareness. According to the psychologist, this may not be easy, especially if you are the person who has always supported other people and helped them without expecting anything in return. Natalia Gracheva noted that you should not be afraid to ask for help and support during the period when you realize that you are being used. Both friends and psychologists can become a support at this moment.

A few more recommendations from the expert:

1. Set Boundaries
   Clearly define your personal boundaries and learn to say “no”. Healthy boundaries will help protect your resources and energy. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your rights and interests!
2. Open Communication
   Talk to the person who you feel is using you. Open and honest communication can help clarify the situation and find a solution (if the person is understanding and willing to meet you halfway). Explain your feelings and expectations, and listen to their point of view.
3. Evaluate the relationship
   Think about whether you really need this kind of relationship? If the person is not ready to change and continues to use you, it may be worth reconsidering your relationship. Sometimes it is better to end a toxic relationship than to continue experiencing stress and disappointment.

It is important to remember that your feelings and needs are important, so ignoring them is strictly not recommended.