Mom on the edge: psychologists tell how to overcome parental burnout

Work stress and tension are familiar to many, but what to do when emotional burnout affects not only professional but also personal life? We discussed this problem with perinatal psychologist Irina Eremeeva and child and family psychologist Olesya Fateeva. The experts shared their observations and advice for parents who have encountered this difficult condition.

Causes of parental burnout

Emotional burnout in parents is caused by many factors, among which the following stand out:

• Daily multitasking: Constantly switching between different tasks leads to chronic stress and exhaustion.
• Physical fatigue and lack of sleep: Lack of sleep and constant physical fatigue are inevitable companions of parenting.
• Lack of visible results: The process of raising children is long and laborious, and the results of efforts are not always immediately obvious.
• Lack of new experiences: Routine duties and monotony contribute to the development of emotional burnout.
• Lack of help and support: The lack of sufficient support from loved ones increases the pressure on parents.

Olesya Fateeva emphasizes: "Modern society places many demands on women. A woman must be a good mother, wife, housewife, specialist, and at the same time find time for self-development and caring for children." These expectations create significant pressure on mothers, which contributes to the development of emotional burnout..

Stages of parental burnout

Irina Eremeeva identifies four stages of parental burnout:

1. Mobilization: At the initial stage, the mother is full of enthusiasm and energy. Her entire focus is on the child and household chores. "At this stage, the mother strives to be perfect, all her interests revolve around the child," notes Irina.
2. Accumulation: Fatigue begins to accumulate, but the mother continues to endure. Irritability and guilt appear. "I'm tired, but I'm enduring!" becomes her motto.
3. Breakdown: Energy resources are depleted, nervous exhaustion sets in. "It seems to me that everyone is literally touching and pulling me, and I just want to be left alone," the psychologist describes this stage.
4. Personal deformation: Complete emotional exhaustion, a cynical attitude towards the child and others, and rigidity appear.

If you notice signs of burnout in the second or third stage, you need to immediately turn on self-care mode.

"First put on a mask on yourself, and then on your child" - this is the instruction given to passengers on the plane, and it is perfect for motherhood. Taking care of yourself is about safety precautions and responsibility to yourself and your loved ones," explains Irina Eremeeva.

Signs of emotional burnout

Olesya Fateeva describes signs that may indicate emotional burnout:

• Forgetfulness;
• Feeling like you are trapped and there is no way out;
• Sleep problems;
• Increased stress and anxiety;
• Decreased performance, desire to sleep and lie down;
• Decreased emotional attachment to the child and family;
• Feeling of inferiority;
• Suicidal thoughts, self-harm;
• Various addictions – to food, smoking, alcohol, gaming, etc.;
• Increased irritability;
• Increased conflicts in the family;
• Physical symptoms (headaches, abdominal pain, bowel problems).

If you experience any of these symptoms, it is important to take steps to support your nervous system.

How to Cope with Burnout

1. Leave the house without your child: Use the help of relatives or hire a nanny to find time for yourself. "How are you coping? Who helps you? Are you very tired?" - these are questions that every parent should ask.
2. Comfort in everyday life: Organize your life in such a way as to minimize the load. Semi-finished products, help around the house - all this is important.
3. Create a cozy atmosphere at home: Make your home a place where you enjoy being.
4. Education and self-development: Read books and take courses on parenting to feel confident in the role of a parent. "Increasing parental competence is a powerful resource," notes Irina.
5. Meetings with like-minded people: Communication with other parents helps to feel support and exchange experiences.
6. Hobbies, studies, part-time work: This allows you to fill up with positive emotions and increase self-confidence.
7. Personal time for yourself: Find time for what brings you pleasure. "What do you like to do? What brings you joy?" – Irina Eremeeva advises asking yourself.
8. Physical activity: Sports help relieve stress and improve physical condition.
9. Attention to marital relations: Do not forget to devote time to your partner to maintain a healthy relationship.
10. Relaxation and self-care: Baths, massages, meditations – all this helps to restore strength.

Olesya Fateeva emphasizes the importance of self-care: "It is rarely mentioned that every woman should take care of herself in order to find the strength to be a good mother, wife and housewife. But such 'egoists' usually have satisfied husbands and happy children."

Burnout Prevention

Recognizing the problem is the first step to solving it. Irina Eremeeva reminds: "Learn to feel your fatigue and do not ignore it. Fatigue requires rest, not additional tasks." Gradually introduce healthy habits into your life to reduce the load and fill yourself with positive emotions.

Olesya Fateeva offers a set of measures to support the nervous system:

• Baths with lavender or mint, sea salt 2-3 times a week.
• Contrast shower massage 2-3 times a week.
• Soothing herbal tea (mint, lemon balm, valerian, motherwort).
• Reading funny stories, watching comedies.
• Daily walks in the fresh air for 60 minutes.
• Childhood gymnastics for all parts of the body, 15-30 minutes a day.
• Regular sleep from 7 to 9 hours.
• Massage and self-massage techniques.
• Exclusion from the environment of people who treat you badly.
• Reducing sound stimuli and visual stress.

Happy and healthy parents are the key to children's well-being. Taking care of yourself is not selfishness, but a necessity. Like on a plane: "First put the mask on yourself, then on the child."