Psychology of Success: Why Success Can Destroy a Family

It is no coincidence that the media and society are discussing the issue of choosing between two components of a happy life, each of which is essentially equal for a person: family and success (professional demand). Many of those who still manage to combine both in their lives, sooner or later begin to feel that success negatively affects relationships within the family. What to do about it? Experts shared their opinions:

"Our environment is tied to a certain style of our life. How we spend our morning, how we relax, how we organize our weekends and, of course, how we work. The work of a billionaire is not like the work of a millionaire, and the work of a millionaire is different from the work of an intern or an employee. With a serious increase in income, our habits, our leisure time and our social circle change.

These transformations are inevitable and, first of all, manifest themselves in our personal space. For example, a wife married one person, but after significant career success and accompanying changes, her husband becomes completely different. His interests, leisure time, ideas about good and bad change. All this leads to serious upheavals in the family," says coach Mikhail Kasatkin.

Signals

"Often such changes give rise to a feeling of alienation and misunderstanding between spouses. The wife may feel that the husband with whom she shared her life is disappearing, giving way to another, more successful, but distant person. The result is conflicts, misunderstandings and, possibly, even the breakup of the family.

The only way to maintain family relationships in the conditions of success in business is joint growth. It is necessary to develop together with your spouse, to strive for new heights shoulder to shoulder. This requires special attention and care, time for joint hobbies and projects, and most importantly - constant communication. Open discussion of changes and willingness to support each other can become the key to a strong relationship," he emphasizes.

What does the dynamics between success and a harmonious personal life depend on? Yulia Lebedeva, psychologist, teacher at the international online institute Smart, named the most important factors:

Unmet emotional needs

Successful people often immerse themselves in work, forgetting about the importance of emotional support for their loved ones. This creates a deficit of attention and affection in the family.

Stress and burnout

Constant work at the limit of capabilities and the desire to maintain a high level of productivity causes stress and emotional burnout, which, in turn, affects communication and emotional connection with partners and children.

Changing priorities

In pursuit of success, a person's priorities can shift. Goals and ambitions begin to take center stage, pushing family and personal relationships into the background.

Why does success cause a family to break up?

Time resource

The modern work rhythm requires significant time expenditure. Working 12-14 hours a day, business trips, evening meetings - all this reduces the amount of quality time spent with the family. As a result, the partner and children may feel rejected and lonely. And this can provoke resentment, misunderstanding and conflicts.

Communication gaps

Constant employment leads to the fact that spouses stop sharing their experiences, feelings and interests. This creates a certain distance and over time can destroy the emotional connection between partners, people simply become strangers to each other.

Rivalry and envy

If both partners are successful, then a situation of rivalry may arise. Outbursts of envy and jealousy can intensify, especially if one of the partners manages to achieve greater recognition and income.

Unrealistic expectations

Alas, success often gives rise to gigantic expectations, both in professional and personal life. Failure to meet these expectations in the family leads to disappointment and conflict.

How to prevent?

"Problems begin when the second partner is not ready for the changes that are taking place.

Even if there were preliminary agreements in the family about how life would be restructured, in practice it turns out that reality differs significantly from expectations. When the balance between family and work cannot be maintained, the tension in the family steadily increases.

When a spouse begins to devote more and more time to work, the second partner after some time begins to feel abandoned, deceived and unnecessary.

If at the beginning of a career, for example, a husband's wife is still trying to understand and explain to herself why this is necessary, then as emotional ties weaken, she increasingly understands that she has nothing to do with the success or achievements of her partner. As a rule, a feeling of loneliness grows.

The husband, in turn, is torn between irritation and resentment that he is not understood, not supported, and his achievements are devalued, and a feeling of guilt before his wife.

And then the family begins to be perceived not as a helper on whom one can rely, but as a hindrance.

By this time, the husband has already invested enough psychologically in his work and simply cannot leave it, even under the threat of the family breaking up," says clinical and family psychologist Marina Scheglova. In her opinion, spouses need to discuss their relationship at all stages of its development. This will help them learn to recognize their partner's stressful state and provide them with timely support.

And Yulia Lebedeva voiced several recommendations that can help maintain harmony in the relationship without sacrificing professional demand:

1. Clearly define your life priorities and values. Try to review them regularly to avoid losing balance.
2. It’s not just the quantity, but also the quality of time spent with family that matters. Focus on emotional and spiritual closeness – this includes dinners together, evening conversations, and weekends away from work.
3. Develop a schedule that takes into account both work tasks and family activities. Regularly plan time for communication and maintaining family relationships.
4. Be attentive to the needs of your loved ones. Show that their feelings and opinions matter to you. Emotional support is the foundation of strong family ties.
5. Develop mindfulness and reflection. Understanding your emotions and personal triggers allows you to avoid conflict situations and build healthier communication.

It is important to understand that professional success and a strong family are not mutually exclusive concepts. Perceive your family as a source of strength and inspiration. Both contribute equally to successful work.