...And these grievances do not strengthen the union, but destroy it. What is the best thing to avoid in a relationship, so as not to lose love? This question was answered by psychologist Alexandra Miller.
1. Discontent with ones appearence
When a girl is convinced that she is ugly and is looking for a catch in the compliments, it is bad not only for her but also for her lover. Because no matter what he does in the name of proving the sincerity of his feelings, it will be called into question. "Such behavior of a lady even has a special name - Marilyn Monroe syndrome," says the psychologist.
Secretly reading her partner's correspondence, all sorts of fidelity checks... - the jealous girl becomes a hybrid of detective and investigator. Regardless of whether the jealousy is groundless or not, it devastates both of them, makes them nervous and aggressive. It kills even the strongest feelings. The foundation of a healthy relationship is mutual respect and trust.
3. The "race" to a better life
If a lady looks enviously at pictures of always beautiful and rich bloggers, comparing their life with her own not in favor of her own, she is certainly "walking away" from her real self, her desires and goals. Such behavior is not characteristic of a harmonious person.
4. Ignoring of basic needs
Often due to lack of money ladies are forced to save money on themselves. Forced denial of small joys and comforts to herself makes a woman nervous. In this situation, she may reproach her partner for his insufficient efforts to provide a decent standard of living. And these reproaches should not be overlooked, "The desire for financial security is an understandable female need for security. <...> You can talk as much as you want about women's mercantilism and that "Love may make a cottage a castle," but we should add, "if the sweetheart drives a Porsche," Miller emphasizes.
5. Negativity in everything
The tendency to see everything as bad is not conducive to the harmonious development of a relationship. Be calmer and keep an optimistic view of the world - such a woman, like a battery, "charges" any relationship.
6. Relationship pattern
It is easy to get lost in the plethora of "happy relationship" courses, as only the laziest people have never taught them. Sometimes girls take to heart the information presented in these courses and begin to "adjust" their chosen one according to the template of the "ideal" partner. But everyone is different, with different characters and value systems. Therefore it is impossible to "mold" an adult person into someone who corresponds to your (or someone else's) preferences/dreams of "a fairy tale prince on a white horse. Respect the person in your partner, develop self-respect.
Before you can build any kind of intimate relationship, you need to build a relationship with yourself. A woman who is not interested/bored/bad in solitude will be the same in a relationship with even the most wonderful man. You have to try (trivial, but fact) to love yourself. Don't lie to yourself and conquer your fears. This will open the door to a world of strong and trusting relationships.